He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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