Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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