Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
