All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
