tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
