I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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