You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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