do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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