Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
