did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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