i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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