only if we run a train.
done.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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