No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
