check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
