if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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