maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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