HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
