The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize