I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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