either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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