You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
