if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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