Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
