he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
