if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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