dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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