dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
