I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We are all done wearing pants today
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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