omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
