I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
