I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
