areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
