we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
