i barfeds in our rink
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize