if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
