My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
