the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize