I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
