you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
