thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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