I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
