Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
