On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
