was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
