everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
