Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
