just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize