hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
