drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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