Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
