So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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