The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
