): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize