I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
