He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
