90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
