Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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