Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
