I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
