By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
