id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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