Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
